A Hebrew's Guide to Getting Through December (When You Don't Celebrate Christmas)

This post has helpful ideas and strategies for getting through the holiday season when you don't celebrate Christmas, but still serve the Messiah. We talk about simple ways to share your faith and connect with loved ones, and tips to maintain your peace throughout the Christmas holiday season.

It's the most wonderful time of the year...or is it? While winter has many lovely features, the cultural holidays can make for some uncomfortable moments. How do you live differently when your family and friends are against the change in you? How do you deal with the frustration of Christmas overload? My hometown literally broadcasts Christmas music over outdoor speakers so that it is heard throughout the downtown. And not a single business comes to mind where you won't find holiday related decorations, events, or products; driving home from anywhere is bound to take you past lots of Christmas lights. This can be sad, overwhelming, or upsetting. How do we as Hebrews get through this time with grace?

Here are a few ideas to help guide the way:

Remember why you are doing this. At this time of year I like to brush up on some of the reasons Christmas is not condoned by YHWH. Not so I can unload this on every person I know, but because this gives me fresh conviction and motivation to not take part in this. The Truth or Tradition teaching is an excellent resource for this.

Pray and think about how you will respond. Having a few catchphrases to turn to when the subject comes up can simplify things greatly. When a cashier wishes you merry Christmas you could respond with something like, "I actually don't celebrate that but I appreciate your kind wishes." Consider also the reason you'll give if you are asked why not. Something like, "I'm trying to follow the Bible's instructions and while it speaks of seven holidays, Christmas is not one of them," is a way to plant a seed. Pray about sharing extra details with those curious to know more.

It's okay to remember the good times. Most of us have good memories surrounding Christmastime and it's okay to acknowledge that and feel nostalgic. Letting go of Christmas doesn't mean you have to let go of those memories. Reminisce of the happy times you've had with friends and family. Tell the stories or write them down. 

Look ahead to YHWH's feasts. My mind can't help but wander to thinking about what YHWH desired those good memories to look like. To have memories of hearing the story of the Messiah's birth read around a Sukkot campfire instead of next to a Christmas tree. To have kids hunt for the last bits of bread in the house before Matzah Week instead of Easter eggs. These sorts of memories are still possible so start planning for them! Start saving for a Sukkot trip or think of menu options for Passover. YHWH has made seven set apart times of joy for us, knowing that some part of us needs these special celebrations. 

Connect with others. Not celebrating mainstream holidays can feel very isolating, but cutting out Christmas doesn't have to mean avoiding family. Take advantage of extra time off or relatives being in town and invite people over for dinner or games or take your nieces and nephews sledding.

Dissent in small ways. This is a non-dramatic way to align yourself with YHWH's ways. Taking a plain snickerdoodle cookie from the work break room instead of the frosted Rudolph. Not wearing red and green together. Saying, "Have a nice time with your family," in lieu of, "Merry Christmas." Things like this give others nothing to be defensive or upset about. Being different in subtle ways shows others that this isn't for show or attention.

Come up with alternative forms of entertainment. Turn on the radio or the television and Christmas will come at you fast. Create a playlist for the car or at work. Borrow a few wholesome movies from the library. Put snow to use and sled, ski, or make snowmen. Take a break from social media if that helps.

Know that you are not required to participate in Christmas activities at work. It is religious discrimination and employers cannot legally fire or punish someone for not participating in holiday activities. Of course going against the grain is not always expedient to your career, and sometimes hard choices have to be made. Scripture does tell us that if we keep the commandments we will be blessed. Perhaps not right away or in the way we expect, but nonetheless blessed. If you find yourself assigned to a Christmas related task you can ask to be reassigned or offer to switch projects with a coworker. A simple, "no thanks," is the only explanation needed if you don't want to participate in a gift exchange. If your workplace is open Christmas day or Christmas Eve offering to work then so others can have time off can earn you big time brownie points.

Avoid commercial displays of the holidays, if possible. In the fall I try and get stocked up on dry groceries, hygiene products, and such so I can avoid going to businesses that have decked their halls. Seriously, if being around Christmas stuff is hard or sad for you the last thing you need to do is walk through a store's ornament isle. Utilizing pickup options or online holiday offers like free shipping also help me to avoid stores. Choose coffee shops and restaurants that are less decorated if you'll be eating out. Go through the bank drive through instead of standing in line next to the Christmas tree in the lobby. 

Don't make changing anyone your job. It would be great if our families viewed this the same way we do, but honestly December 24 is probably not going to be the day most people have a serious change of heart on this. Pray for others to follow in YHWH's ways and leave it to him. Share your heart, articles, or videos as you feel lead but also consider doing that in June when holiday emotions aren't running high and friends may be more receptive. 

Make your Passover yes louder than your Christmas no. It's important for others to learn that Christmas is not of YHWH and doubtless we will all have opportunities to share truth and our own story of walking away from this during this season. But if we are going to reprimand people for celebrating the wrong holiday, we need to invite them to keep YHWH's. If others hear you speak negatively of Christmas, make sure they hear a lot more positive talk from you about Passover, Shabbat, etc.

Offer grace to your upbringing and relatives. Many of us grew up seeing Christmas as a special time of honoring the Messiah and chances are we will meet some opposition from those who still view it that way. Acknowledge that most people are simply doing their best with what they have been taught, as you once were. Be kind and patient as the seeds you are planting in their lives take root.

Related posts:
Sharing Your Faith When Someone Wishes You a Merry Christmas
The Christmas Question
Five Things Believers Should Know About Christmas

Non-Overwhelming Ways to Share Truth

2 Timothy 2:24-26
"And the servant of YHWH must not quarrel; but be gentle to all men, able to teach, patient, in meekness instructing those that oppose him; so YHWH somehow will give them teshuvah to their acknowledging of the truth; and that they may come to their senses and leave the snare of s.a.tan, who has taken them captive to do his will."

One thing this verse is saying, "Servants of YHWH must be able to meekly instruct those that oppose them, so that YHWH will somehow give them the desire to repent when they acknowledge the truth."

Teaching and instructing those who disagree. How does that sit with you?

I am okay with not quarreling. Gentleness and patience too. I am all for getting people out of the snare of the enemy and to teshuvah. Even teaching is doable. But teaching those that are against truth? That's not exactly the most comfortable thing ever. It's hard when people don't share our views. But this is what Scripture says.

Don't panic. Let's look at what this passage is not saying. Just before this, in verse 23 it says, "Avoid foolish and unlearned questions, because they breed arguments." And earlier verse 14 expressly states, "Do not engage in word battles." So apparently YHWH distinguishes between arguing and instructing. Therefore, this is not a call to endless debates and hostile disagreements. What a relief! We are to instruct, not argue. 

But what does it mean to instruct someone with meekness? While many of us tend to think of meekness as something akin to being a pushover, the meaning in this context is that of gentleness. I don't know about you but it's easier for me to learn when the instructor is kind and patient with me. It's difficult to learn algebra when the teacher is overly critical or won't slow down to help a student understand something they're missing. Learning a new job skill is much easier when the trainer is kind, and doesn't call you an idiot for not getting it right the first time. So in this context meekness has a lot to do with fruits of the Spirit like gentleness, patience, humility, and kindness.

Okay...but I'm not a teacher! Actually, if your desire and intention is to be a servant of YHWH, you should be teaching others his Word. Why? Because this is the means that YHWH uses to bring people to teshuvah--to repentance and turning to him! I love the word play here with 'instructing' YHWH repeatedly describes the Torah as the instructions. We are to teach others YHWH's instructions in the Torah on how to live so they can turn and repent. Does this mean you have to have a degree in teaching or start a Bible study? While those could be used to instruct, that's by no means a prerequisite for following the instruction to teach others. There are many different ways to do that.

How can we instruct others?

1. Be obedient to the Word. Honoring Shabbat, celebrating the festivals of YHWH, eating as he instructs, and so forth. When others see you doing something different from the cultural norm it is an opportunity to learn that YHWH has better ways. Most people will see your actions before they hear your words.

2. And tell others why you're doing it. Telling your friends you can't go shopping on Saturday because you want to honor the Sabbath is okay to do! Sharing with your coworkers that you are taking time off to celebrate Sukkot is great! Letting others know why you live the way that you do is an invitation for them to follow suit.

3. Plant small seeds and ask questions. We all need to break the nasty habit of giving verbal acquiescence to beliefs and philosophies that are against the truth, just because it's uncomfortable to disagree with someone. However, it doesn't do anyone any favors when we don't give them an opportunity to understand Scripture better. "Yahusha also said..." "Where does it say that in the Bible?" "How does that fit with this verse that seems to say something different?" These are all gentle phrases that plant a seed of learning more truth.

4. Learn to say, "Because that's what the Word says." There are a million and one arguments against Creationism, keeping Torah, not eating pork, or marriage as defined by Scripture. It's not about having a comeback, perfect theological understanding, or amazing explanation of the 'why' behind YHWH's instructions. It's just about living as he says we should. I don't understand everything about Scripture. I just follow it because he said to.

5. Have these words on your gates. Mezzuzahs on your doorpost, a menorah on the mantle, and bookshelves with resources for studying and understanding Scripture show your guests that you take your faith seriously. And guess what? These teach truth even when your words don't. The delivery man can see an outdoor mezzuzah when he drops off a package, your children can be reminded of Scripture when it's framed or written on a chalkboard even when you aren't home.

6. Clothe yourself in Yahusha. I am convinced that when YHWH instructed us to have his words on our hands it wasn't only for our reminder and benefit. I get asked about my Shema bracelet all the time, from cashiers, friends, and new acquaintances. Others can learn about the Netsarim faith by how we dress and present ourselves.

7. Share truth online. Post better translations of Scripture verses on social media or share a picture of a feast day celebration. While we shouldn't get into debating there are a lot of forums that ask religious questions and there aren't many answers that line up with the Hebrew or Netsarim faith. Most of Western culture spends at least some time online each day. I hope they get to see things other than sensationalized news, gossip, and funny videos. 

8. Put a Google Yahusha sticker on your car. This was a recent thing for me. Now people who pass me on the freeway or see my car parked (who I would probably never get a chance to meet or talk to) are invited to find out the real name of the Messiah.

9. Bring it up! We don't find it unusual when someone mentions the bad day they had, work frustrations, a new recipe they tried, the garage sale they're hosting this week, what they thought of the political debate, and so on in conversation. So why do we hesitate to mention the new Scripture study we are taking part in, or how much we are looking forward to Shabbat? I certainly would like to live in a world where YHWH's ways are part of everyday discussion. That starts with me.

10. Give advice based in truth. When someone comes to you for advice or your opinion make it clear that your words are based in Scripture. This goes for everything from what to do about conflict with a coworker to what to have for dinner. Our friends and family need to see the Word of YHWH as a place for practical advice and instructions on how to live.

11. Create content or support someone who does. You have probably noticed that resources for the Hebrew faith are very limited. What are you doing about that? Are you financially supporting ministries you attend and learn from? Have you considered supporting a translation of Scripture that uses the name of YHWH? What about putting your skill set to work writing or editing books, volunteering to help at your congregation, creating Torah school curriculum for children, or making lovely Scripture designs to post on Pinterest? These are all a means that others learn from.

12. Pray! We all need to pray for opportunities to instruct others and for the skill and creativity to do so well. We should also pray that YHWH would use us to cause others to turn to him.

So this list shows us that instructing others in YHWH's ways doesn't mean you have to teach a class or debate someone on the merits of obeying Scripture. And remember, we are told to share with those who not only disagree with us, but who oppose the truth. A lot of them are going to keep opposing YHWH's truth after we offer instruction. As much as we would like our teaching to be light bulb moments we must also recognize there are times when we will be met with scoffing and rude remarks and that's okay. That doesn't mean you are doing anything wrong. It's not about being an eloquent speaker or seeing amazing results. Moshe's words to Pharaoh were met with ridicule and scorn and he never did get Pharaoh to teshuvah, but YHWH's goal was still accomplished. 

We have to remember that far too many are dying without Yahusha and that real compassion is sharing truth with them, no matter how we may be mocked and hated for it.

This isn't about your teaching ability. It is about your willingness and YHWH working through you. Even when it's hard and your words or actions are ridiculed, YHWH is giving others the desire to teshuvah.